The Discipline of Desire
This week you're going to learn one of Epictetus's three core disciplines: the **Discipline of Desire**, called in Greek *orexis* (roughly, "reaching out for things") and its counterpart *ekklisis* ("turning away from things"). Together they describe the inner movements of wanting and avoiding that quietly run your life. The Stoics taught that almost all human suffering comes from desiring things you can't guarantee and fearing things you can't prevent, and that the fix isn't to feel nothing, but to redirect those energies toward what is actually up to you. By the end of this week, you won't just understand the idea; you'll have a practical way to live it.
Passage
There are three fields of study in which the man who is going to be good and excellent must first have been trained. The first has to do with desires and aversions, that he may never fail to get what he desires, nor fall into what he avoids;
— Epictetus, Discourses 3.2.1
Reflection
Epictetus opens by telling you that the very first thing a person who wants to live well must train is desire and aversion, the twin impulses of wanting and avoiding. He calls this the first 'field of study' because everything else rests on it: if you're constantly chasing things you can't control or recoiling from things you can't prevent, your inner life is permanently at the mercy of the world. The Discipline of Desire (*orexis* in Greek, meaning the reaching-out movement of the soul toward something) is the practice of learning what is actually worth wanting. Think of it less like willpower and more like getting your aim right before you fire.
Go deeper
When you think about what you most wanted or most feared this past week, which of those desires or fears were actually within your power to secure or prevent, and which were you just hoping the world would cooperate with?
Practice
The Two-Column Audit
Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left, write three things you currently want; on the right, three things you're currently trying to avoid. For each item, ask one question only: "Is this completely up to me?" Don't judge yourself, just notice which column is full of things outside your control.