They Err from Ignorance
This week you are going to study one of the most practically useful ideas in all of Stoic philosophy: that people who behave badly do so out of ignorance, not malice. The Stoics called this "they err involuntarily" (in Greek, the idea traces to Socrates and is woven through Stoic thought as the principle that no one does wrong willingly, Greek: "oudeis hekon hamartanei"). What that means in plain words is this: when someone hurts you, acts selfishly, or causes harm, they are almost always confused about what is truly good, not evil at the core. Learning to see difficult people through this lens does not mean excusing bad behaviour; it means understanding it clearly enough that you can respond with wisdom instead of rage.
Passage
It is a property of man to love even those who stumble. This feeling ensues if it occur to you at the time that men are your kindred and go wrong because of ignorance and against their will; that in a little while both of you will be dead; but, above all, that he did you no harm, for he did not make your governing self worse than it was before.
— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations VII.22
Reflection
Marcus opens with something that sounds almost impossible: loving the people who trip you up. But notice his reasoning. He does not ask you to pretend the wrong did not happen. He asks you to remember three things: this person is your kin, they acted out of ignorance and not by free choice, and they did not actually damage the part of you that matters most, your character. That last point is the anchor. A difficult person can take your time, your comfort, even your reputation, but they cannot reach inside and make you cruel or small unless you hand them that power. The concept this week is sometimes called the doctrine of involuntary error: the Stoic conviction that every wrong act comes from a mistaken belief about what is good, not from wickedness chosen for its own sake.
Go deeper
Think of someone who has hurt or frustrated you recently: what mistaken belief about what is good might actually be driving their behaviour?
Practice
The Kindred Pause
Bring one difficult person to mind. Write three sentences, one for each of Marcus's points: (1) how they are your kindred, (2) what confusion might be behind their action, (3) what part of you they have not actually touched. Read it back slowly.